Goin’ To The Chapel…Bar?
A bridal shower, a wedding (or three!) and how to keep it HOT.
This past weekend we went to the wrong wedding venue. TWICE!
Today, three days later, I still have no idea how this happened. Literally none. But in a very Seinfeld meets Sex and The City moment, we spent an hour desperately scrambling to figure out where the wedding actually was, driving all over the city to different venues in the process.
For months, we had been gearing up for this one — the chic daughter of a good friend. A boozy dance party with no sit-down dinner (which, let’s be honest, is what everyone wants… to dance!) The ceremony was held the day before for immediate family only (genius). With logistics for our kids’ solved. My vintage black dress dry cleaned. And sparkly dance shoes at the ready. THIS was sure to be a blowout party.
Cut to Saturday night. I took one last look in the mirror, sideways, both ways, before heading out the door and uptown to Chapel Bar on 21st and Park Avenue South. Making good time, we arrived at the venue at 6:15, only 15 minutes after it started (which by the way is not late, guys). But the door was locked! There were no flowers and no friends. Clearly, this was not it, confirmed after a phone call to the club and a manager who could barely contain his disbelief. Who gets the venue wrong?? NO. Seriously. WHO?! We had long since thrown away the paper invite (“we” = “he”) and had forgotten to put the venue in our shared calendar.
Scrambling to call our friends at the wedding, not surprisingly, no one answered (because they were all at the wedding doing fun wedding things!). With no idea how to handle the situation, we brainstormed all the religiously themed bars in the city - The Monastery? Holy Water? (Is that even open anymore?) Temple Bar? What else could it be? With no luck, I called the first two locations while we drove to the third: Temple Bar in NoHo. Nope, no wedding there, either.
Feeling awful about the whole thing and laughing at the situation's absurdity, we chased the wedding. Just as we started calling every potential venue in the area, a text came through: “Cathedral Bar, East 11th between 3rd and 4th.”
CATHEDRAL BAR! OF COURSE. Cathedral... Chapel…
Gunning it to the venue, we were only an hour late.
Settling into the party and music, we got a drink, hugged our friends, told our tale, got a lot of laughs and a few eye rolls, and dropped into the night. The room was beautiful and set up to party, flowers seemingly growing from the walls and towers of food. There was something for everyone, young and old. Also, BTW, men have so much style now! More than ever before. Tuxedos with loafers and no socks are a big yes, as is a pink tuxedo shirt worn with pink and white Jordans. No surprise, the girls looked just as fantastic. (By the way, every 20-something at the party whispered, “Rent the Runway” to me when I complimented their dress).
In one such conversation, a 27-year-old girl that I've known for a while (in a knock-out red halter dress) who has been dating her boyfriend for over a year gushed about how great he is, followed by, “but how do you know if he is the right person?”
“What's more,” she continued,” there are so many options out there. With apps and parties, I constantly meet guys, which makes me wonder, how do you know?” Unfortunately, this is the world now. I say it all the time… everything has become commodified and available in bulk. Whether toilet paper on Amazon or men on apps, it's all the same: the gamification of dating. And it's causing people to be indecisive and paralyzed regarding relationships, with little to no concern for the one that will get away, because there’s always another.
Watching and talking to all these bright, young people at the start of their adult romantic lives (all much younger than me, though I don't always feel like it, and at least one girl — bless her soul — told me I didn't look like it) reminded me of a recent bridal party lunch that I was fortunate enough to be invited with an amazing team I work with. (While writing this, it struck me how wonderful it is to have celebrated love twice in one week). Anyways, back to it. During lunch, the “young” people (i.e., one soon-to-be-bride, one engaged, and a handful that are dating) asked us, the “elders” (two married, one (me) divorced), for advice. “What,” they asked, “is the secret to a lasting, happy relationship?”
As we went around the table, all perspectives were shared, and I was reminded, same as I was at the wedding, of how much things have changed and yet, at their core, are still the same. A not-surprising realization about love, long-term relationships, and our own societal beliefs is that at the end of the day, the north star of a thriving relationship remains: love, respect, and fun.
Below, 9 Tips From That Lunch For Keeping It Hot (And Happy).
Plus, what to wear to a wedding. And THE BEST strapless bra of all time (to wear under said fancy dress) is on SALE! I mention this here because, as all women can attest, finding a good strapless bra is basically like finding a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Well, I'm here to say, I've found it.
This first one I borrowed from Caroline De Maigret, "Always be f*ckable and perfectly flawed." To which one of the married women at the lunch added, "Make